Can You Imagine?
1. A physical likeness or representation of a person, animal, or thing, photographed, painted, sculptured, or otherwise made visible.
(Can you see me? I know, that is what I spent half my life asking.)
2. An optical counterpart or appearance of an object, as is produced by reflection from a mirror, refraction by a lens, or the passage of luminous rays through a small aperture and their reception on surface.
3. A mental representation; idea; conception.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8. The definitions go on and on just like our thoughts race when we think about image.
I start my blogs with the definition since in my adult years I have come to realize I am struggling with dyslexia, a condition which runs in my family. I have always struggled with reading and transposing numbers and now have to re-teach myself just like I had to retrain what I thought my IMAGE was supposed to be.
I can remember as young as 5th grade wanting the perfect body, wanting boys to want me, and wanting my parents understand me.
“How does a woman begin to be healed from the wounds and tragedies of her life?”
-A quote from Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge.
Being a young sexually abused child, I have always struggled with image.
Even now when some people wouldn’t believe it is true, I still question my image.
How do they see me? How do I want them to see me? Will they like me?
Our images our constantly assaulted by judgment, not knowing, perception, and people just not understanding us.
I was the girl with a pretty face but never the right body. Or at the least that’s what the boys in school would always tell me. “Brandy if you would just lose 20lbs, I would date you,” is what all the boys said. And there it began.
The constant question do they like me?
How can I be the center of attention?
Damaged goods is what I thought I had become.
My image was “no one will love you if you’re fat.”
This brings me to a new age of thought. Why aren’t we teaching our children even in school, that words can truly damage, affect, and infect us for life?
Through my 20s I explored the rapid moving world of Brandy Land. It was a fantasy world rolling full of drugs, alcohol, and a celebrity life, being one to some famous while living in LA. I thought I was having a good time and exploring who I was on my terms. No one telling me how to think, how to behave, who to be, what to like, who to know, what I should be doing!!!
I NEEDED TO FIND ME! THE REAL ME! NOT THE IMAGE I THOUGHT I WAS TO BE. BUT THE REAL ME.
Oh boy did it suck having to confront all the things that had me questioning my image. Sexual abuse by my closest cousin. My family knowing, but never willing to discuss. I was told to hush. Be silent and except scaring my image of likeness and love forever. Then boys and girls harassing me at such a golden, impressionable age. Plus my dad being absent for work 7 days a week and my mom still being a young girl raising a daughter herself.
I believed that I was suppose to be thin, I believed I was suppose to follow them, then a lighting rod struck me with multiple encounters of visionaries and prophets telling me I have a job to do. A special job indeed, that would allow myself to heal while helping others. Plus really believing I am already a celebrity helps a lot too. I don’t need to be famous…I already am.
What I am trying to explain is, my problem was believing. I believed what everyone else thought instead of really digging deep in dark trenches, cleaning the muck, and making my light shine. We Are All Stars you see and that is all you need to believe.
The power of image is in yourself. You can be whatever you want to be!
I love dressing up, being comfy, living couture, dancing fancy, relaxed and hippy but the most import thing is to remember to be me.
Remember the real things in life. Self discovery, life improvement, transcendence, helping others, healing, and being a true active participant in this life.
Enjoy this video for it is the best example I can give that if you would just you use your mind and IMAGINE what you want and who you are it will be.
You Will Be If You Just Believe IMAGINE.
